


Leap

by micehell



Category: Velvet Goldmine
Genre: M/M, mildly angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-29
Updated: 2004-03-29
Packaged: 2017-11-10 22:21:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/471327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/micehell/pseuds/micehell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Curt makes some decisions</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leap

Curt woke up without having any idea where he was. Panicked, he felt over his body to see what kind of damage he'd taken, but nothing seemed to hurt. Well, something hurt, but not too bad. More well-fucked than fucked over.

That thought triggered his memory and he smiled as he recalled last night's activities. It had been amazing. Slight and pretty he may be, but Brian really knew how to both give and receive. Curt would probably be walking funny for the rest of the day, but it had been worth it.

His smile disappeared. While he'd certainly enjoyed sex before, it had always been a transitory thing and never something he'd felt the need to reminisce about. To look forward to. One fuck was as good as another, some a little easier on the body, but all of them enough to divert him for a while. That he had ranked Brian as a lover - Brian on top, in more ways than one - hinted at something else. Something far more intimate than a quick exchange of body fluids. Something far more terrifying.

Something like love.

He'd sworn he'd never love anyone again. Of course, he'd been a kid at the time, newly dumped at the asylum and reeling from his first shock treatment. Well, second if you considered the shock he'd had when his brother first... no, he wasn't going to do this now. That was then and he'd left it all behind him.

Except he hadn't. Because here he was, chicken-shit scared because he'd fallen in love. Maybe.

Definitely.

Damn, he just couldn't seem to learn his lesson. Maybe it was the shock treatment, maybe it was the drugs. Maybe he was just stupid. Whatever, he was in for it now, 'cause no one can fuck you over like someone you love.

But Brian had given him the pin. That meant something, didn't it? Of course, he'd also given him some line about it once belonging to Oscar Wilde, but Brian was always good for a story. Still, maybe it had belonged to old Oscar, and it was Brian's way of saying he cared. Which was almost as scary as the idea that Curt himself did.

Scary or not, he felt really good and that was without the benefit of drugs. Was it really such a bad thing to be in love? Maybe he was going to have some good luck for once in his god-forsaken life. Or maybe he was going to crash and burn like usual. But was it worth it to try and make this whole thing work, or should he leave well enough alone, take what he could get?

Shit, he'd always heard that you should look before you leap, but thinking had never been his strong point, much better just to act. Decision time.

So this time, he'd... leap.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

So he'd leapt. Right off the board into the deep end. And, of course, the pool had been empty. Belly flop on concrete time. Pretty typical of Curt's life in general.

But he'd survived, like always. OK, he wasn't exactly flourishing, but he did all right. At least he had until Brian came on the scene again. Or more to the point, until Brian's flunkies had come on the scene. The bastard couldn't even be bothered to threaten him in person. Pointless to threaten him, anyway, as if anyone was going to listen to some ex-junkie has-been.

Well, that reporter might listen. So strange to see the kid again after all these years. Not that they'd mentioned what had been between them before. Which hadn't been a hell of a lot, a little sport to make the time pass. To forget about both of their lives for a time. Just a little mutual fun.

Except that they'd both remembered it, he'd seen it in the eyes. The kid, Arthur, he might have just remembered because Curt had been famous and his first, but then why did Curt remember? He'd fucked many people that he'd forgotten about before they'd left his bed. Or couch, or bathroom stall, whatever. But he'd remembered Arthur. How sweet he'd been; shy and virginal, then flushed and passionate by turns.

It was probably just because he'd reminded Curt of Brian. That was it. It couldn't have been any other reason, like maybe he'd liked him. Like maybe he'd felt a connection to him, two outcasts looking for a better life. It didn't much look like either one of them had spectacularly succeeded there.

It was better to just let this go. Thinking things like this had only gotten him into trouble before, Brian being a prime example.

But had he been any better off behind his walls? Yeah, he hadn't experienced any more pain like he'd felt when he and Brian had split, but he hadn't felt particularly good either. As bad as the end had been, he'd been happy with Brian. And he hadn't been happy since.

Except for once. With a little Brian wannabe. But the kid'd been more than that. And maybe what they'd had had been more than sex. Maybe they could have it again. He could call him up, ask him out. See how things go. Or he could leave well enough alone.

Decision time again. Try for something, or settle for anything.

So this time he'd....

fin


End file.
